Love God, Love People...

This post has been a long time in the making - I started writing it while in South Africa and just finished it yesterday. I by no means think that I have all the answers when it comes to this area, but I wanted to share what the Lord has been teaching me.

Love. I think our culture is absolutely obsessed with love. Everyone wants to find love and will go to extreme measures to do so. People are, by their own admission, “in love with love.” But I’m not convinced that most people even understand what the word itself means. I mean, where do you draw the line between love and simply an extreme like?

Google defines “love” as “an intense feeling of deep affection.” But who is to say what warrants an “intense feeling” or “deep affection”? What I consider to be an “intense feeling” may not be the same as yours. Those things are subjective. At the Chinese restaurant the other night, my fortune cookie said, “Love is a friendship set to music.” Everyone, it seems, has their own definition of love. All of this speculation raises two questions in my mind: (1) What really is love and (2) how do I love others?

God’s Word answers the first question pretty clearly for us in 1 Corinthians 13:

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”

In the past, when I read this verse, I assumed it was speaking of the kind of love between married couples. I tucked it away, making a mental note to return to it the day I got married – I thought that was when I needed to start worrying about what love is. No! God has provided me with immense opportunities to love all those in my life right now, and he wants me to do so!

Now, for the more challenging: How do I love others?

I’ve always thought that I am generally a very loving person. But my time in South Africa has taught me that I had no idea what true love really is. This summer, I’ve struggled with learning how to really and truly love others. What do you do when it’s hard? When you have nothing in common? When you don’t feel like loving that particular person?

In his book Life Together, Bonhoeffer says the following:

“Now he can allow the brother to exist as a completely free person, as God made him to be. His view expands and, to his amazement, for the first time he sees, shining above his brethren, the richness of God’s creative glory. God did not make this person as I would have made him. He did not give him to me as a brother for me to dominate and control, but in order that I might find above him the Creator. Now the other person, in the freedom with which he was created, becomes the occasion of joy, whereas before he was only a nuisance and an affliction. God does not will that I should fashion the other person according to the image that seems good to me, that is, in my own image; rather in his very freedom from me God made this person in His image. I can never know beforehand how God’s image should appear in others. That image always manifests a completely new and unique form that comes solely from God’s free and sovereign creation. To me the sight may seem strange, even ungodly. But God creates every man in the likeness of His Son, the Crucified.”

This truth really struck me. Every person who is in Christ demonstrates God’s creativeness. God made us all different, and each of us exhibit different characteristics of God. Sometimes it’s easy for me to think that certain people are demonstrating ungodliness, simply because the way in which they manifest the image of God is different from the way I do, or the way I think they should. This affects the way in which I love them.

I have loved people because of “who they are,” not because of who Christ is. I’ve loved only people who were similar to me, but people different from me I merely put up with. I’ve loved selfishly, when it’s convenient to myself, and willing with all my might the other person to love me back. I’ve thought, “Surely, it can’t be my fault that I just don’t ‘click’ with them. They’re just too hard to get along with; too hard to love.” What I failed to realize that God loved ME, despite how “hard” I was to love.

In Matthew 5, Jesus has just instructed the people to “love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” He goes on to say, “If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that?” (Matthew 5:46). It’s easy to love those who love us, who are similar to us, who we get along with. But that is not what love is about. Jesus tells us we must love our enemies; not tolerate them, not like them, but love them.

So when it’s hard to love…do I avoid that person like the plague? If I simply don’t talk to them, at least I won’t say or do anything mean. No, that’s not loving. Do I fake it? Do I put on a façade of loving that person, but in my heart curse them? No, that’s not loving. So I actually have to love each person? How can this be possible?

With the state of our human, sinful hearts, it’s not easy. In the heart are tucked away things like envy, malice, pride, selfishness, bitterness. These things will ruin love. The only chance we have at loving others is through God’s grace. We search for truth. We pray for them. And most of all, we take them to the foot of the cross. We look to Jesus’ example of love. “This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us.” (1 John 3:16) When we realize how unworthy and how unlovable we once were, yet God loved us while we were still sinners, it’s humbling. When we stop loving selfishly, and as Bonhoeffer said, trying to control the other person, then we can not only love them, but delight in them with great joy at the Christ we see.

The Bible has a LOT to say about love, so obviously it’s a topic that is important to God. After all, isn’t that what the entire Bible is – a love story between God and his people? God created us, loved us, relentlessly pursued us, rescued us…that’s better than any romantic chick flick!