Returning to the US

We are back stateside! I am still in a weird “limbo” so to speak; glad to be home, yet sad to leave South Africa. I remember the first few days in South Africa, I was extremely homesick (probably a little culture shocked too). I was so glad to be in South Africa, but was already looking forward to the return home. I remember praying that God would move in my heart to really love Johannesburg, and I can say now that He did. As cliché as it may sound, I have left a small piece of my heart there. I didn’t expect the transition back into American life to be so difficult, since this is where I call home, but it has been far from easy. At random times my heart will skip a beat and I’ll think, “Where am I?” And as surprised as I am to say this, being an introvert, it’s hard not constantly being around my family of 19 others for the first time in 7 weeks.

Before leaving South Africa, Bill and Kristen challenged us to come up with five adjectives to describe our experience there. I don’t think that I could ever sum up my experience in South Africa and all that God did with words, or with pictures, or videos. To be honest, I am still processing all that happened myself, but nonetheless, here are my five adjectives:

Sanctifying. Sanctification is the process of becoming holy; that is becoming more Christ-like, which can only be done through the work of the Holy Spirit, not by any “works” man can do. One of the most challenging things that brought about my sanctification over the past seven weeks was living together. Living closely with 19 other Christians in community, who are also seeking to be like Christ, was a wonderful experience. However, this also brought to the surface much of my own sin, and with nowhere for me to run or hide, I was forced to confront it and ask for God’s grace and mercy to help me smash it. This summer I clearly felt God shaping and molding me and though painful at times, I know it was necessary in order for me to become more like Christ. Because of this summer, I am forever changed, even if I may not fully recognize how.

Confirming. Before going to South Africa, I had decided I would move to Wingate University next year and do ministry alongside my friend Brie Porter. But to be honest, my heart wasn’t in it. I had many other appealing options (moving back home, going to Charlotte, living in Asheboro and teaching where I student taught) and I wasn’t sure if going to Wingate was what I really wanted to do. My time in South Africa grew my heart for dorm ministry. There is not much sweeter than the privilege of sharing Jesus with others, even if you don’t see fruit. There is no cause more worthy to give my life away to than Christ. I can now say with confidence that Wingate is where the Lord has called me to for the next season of my life and I couldn’t be more excited. “Only one life, ‘twill soon be past. Only what’s done for Christ will last.”

Eye-opening. In my time in South Africa, I had many experiences that were, for lack of a better term, eye-opening. One experience was visiting the townships. Seeing the poverty was overwhelming, and I admit I didn’t know quite how to handle it. I felt guilty. These people are living in one-room shacks without electricity, and they may eat one meal a day, one a week, or not know where their next meal is coming from. Even the “normal” South Africans have much less than a typical American. Our guest house was a nice Bed and Breakfast, yet had no dishwasher, no dryer, no central heating. I was shocked by how little the students had in their dorms also. Most students had only their bedding and clothes and shoes that would fit into one suitcase. Very few of them had personal laptops, and hardly any had cars. This isn’t to say that all South Africans are “poor” compared to Americans; we’ve driven through the “ritzy” part of town and I know that many South Africans, just like Americans, have a higher standard of living than myself. Rather, I think South Africans simply have different values. For instance, they put an extremely high value on education, because it is seen as a means to end of the cycle of poverty, so that they can provide a better life for their family. I remember one instance when my ministry partner, Bettina, and I had just met two girls in the dorm. One girl had a bagged lunch from the dining hall and was offering both of us some of her food. As she handed me her candy bar, I asked, “Why don’t you want it?” and she replied, “You don’t give only what you don’t want.” Another experience I’ll never forget was worshiping with South Africans at the church in Alex and at JWC. South Africa has 11 official languages. Worshiping in Afrikaans, Xhosa, Zulu, and Tsonga gave me a small glimpse of what it might be like in heaven, worshiping with people from every tribe, tongue, and nation. I can never list out all of the experiences, large and small, that have made me take a step back and evaluate myself. Overall, these experiences have changed not only my worldview, but my view of the Christian Church worldwide.

Worshipful. We began preparations for this trip back in December, and since then God has done so much that simply causes me to worship Him. A few weeks into the trip, we found out that God had provided more support than we had anticipated, so that we might use it to bless others. The response was to worship Him! We studied the Old Testament this summer and one day per week we looked specifically for attributes of God in the Scriptures: Creator, Provider, The Giver of Life, All-knowing, Protector, Sovereign, Just, Merciful, Powerful, Holy, Passionate about His glory, Promise-keeper, Good and wants good for His children...among many others. Each of these attributes calls for us to worship Him! Attending church in Alex (a township outside of Joburg) and seeing the way the people so celebrated the same God we do – worshipful! A good friend of ours, Nyasha, is an intern at Generations, which is a popular South African soap opera. Unfortunately, that meant she wouldn’t be able to attend the Joint Winter Conference (a 3-day camp through Campus Outreach where students learn more about God through rallies, small seminars, worship, and studying the Word together) because she had to work. Then, the week before the JWC, the studio burned down! Nyasha was able to go to the JWC, because she couldn’t go to work. When I found out, I just remember laughing and thinking, “Wow, God.” I don’t want it to seem like we only worshiped God when things were going well or when He did something huge. Every occasion, every moment is a chance to worship, and worship you do. Whether you are worshiping the Lord or something else is the question. But this trip, overall, was such a reminder of the Lord’s sovereignty and of His goodness in so many ways, that my only response could be worship.

Fun. This sounds a little elementary, especially after the four “serious” adjectives I have already listed. But I can’t leave out the fact that we had fun this summer! As I mentioned before, living with 19 other people had its challenges, but I can’t think of any other word that describes our team dynamic other than “fun.” We got the opportunity to do some pretty awesome things this summer. Hanging out with South Africans was always fun – whether we were at a braai, dancing, exploring campus, having a movie night, doing crafts, or just talking…I’ve never once thought, “I wish I had more fun this summer.” What sticks out is our safari in Pilanesburg; camping, a three-hour bushwalk, a three-hour safari drive, staying at Bakubung Lodge – all of these were great. But no matter what we did or where we were, it was fun just being with our family. I think this is testament to the fact that God hand-picked each and every one of us for this team. Before leaving the airport yesterday, Kristen said she couldn’t imagine if any one of us had not been there or if someone else had been there. Though each one of us is far from perfect, I believe the Lord perfectly knitted our team together, which also led to worship (see previous).

I will share pictures as soon as possible. Thank you all for constantly lifting up myself and my team in prayer.